She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
