What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
