I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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