And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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