Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
