i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i dont even know how to be here
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
