rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize