Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
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