we made out on top of his cat.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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