Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
