There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
