the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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