mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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