Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
