Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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