What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
