You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
