you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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