Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
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