That's intense
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
