I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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