Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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