I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
