dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
