I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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