Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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