it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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