i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
