dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She's the barista slut.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
