I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
