Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
