What a fucking waste of an outfit
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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