So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
