He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
not ubering you a puppy
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
