im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
