i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
