ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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