dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
