Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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