we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
