She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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