i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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