i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
