I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
