I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
