What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
