yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
