Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
