Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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