quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
