was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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